R. greatly agitated at receiving no news from anywhere! I go through the books, arranging them by denomination in marks. In the afternoon I go to Herr Feustel, in order once more to discuss various matters; R. resolves upon concerts in Brussels, provided the sum of 40,000 francs, as stated by Herr Brassin, be guaranteed to him. –
Herr Jauner writes in a very unconcerned manner, without knowledge of the letter from the Financial Procurator; “Tannhäuser” is to be proceeded with, so that at least the utmost inconvenience has not yet come to pass. –
R. sends 100 thalers through his nephew Jachmann to Kinowsky, which he had long intended for him, being unwilling to allow himself, by the disgraceful behaviour of his sister-in-law, to be deterred from helping a poor man. Should she later misuse this for renewed pressure, then the police shall be appealed to. In the evening a visit from CouncillorScherer; he speaks of the excavations at Steinach. Anxious resolutions concerning the eldest children. –
I should very much like to persuade R. to resume work on the biography; he merely asks me to wait until this most grievous time shall have passed! He thinks of abandoning the Cause altogether and of setting forth his own account of the matter. Our whole life hangs upon it. To-day I proposed to Herr Feustel to pledge my own property, and for that purpose to apply to my father; he promises me to do so, if “all ropes should break!”
Revised English translation by Jo Cousins [© Jo Cousins | WAGNER Salon]