R. had a good night, doubtless as a consequence of the resolve not to go to Vienna. Now, however, Director Jauner telegraphs that only the daily expenses are to be deducted from the chorus, and that he himself will discuss everything with R. R. telegraphs in the evening to ask whether, since under such adverse conditions they venture to set high prices, and he feels ill at ease about it, it might not be better to postpone the performance of Lohengrin under his direction until the autumn? — Apart from this, R. continues the instrumentation; I work with the children, and in the evening receive a letter from Hans, who resolves to remain in America. — Shall I ever, even to my own Siegfried, open the shaft of sorrow that has been dug into me? … I believe that in silence I shall return to the land of silence itself! … Thus, in tears, I listened to the beautiful American march, which Herr Rubinstein read so admirably at sight from the sketch.
Revised English translation by Jo Cousins [© Jo Cousins | WAGNER Salon]